I keep hoping... I keep hitting the refresh button, refreshing the page to see and hope maybe there is a error or something.. an email of apology.... but it hurts even more, seeing it unchangeable... solid... and unfair yet deserving....
Guilt-stricken with self-doubt seeing disappointment and pity on other faces... Self-loathing and depressed... Realization hit, I need to quickly fact facts and resist threatening tears... Pull myself up and move forwards... Smile like nothing happened... Shield and pack it away in a box in my mind and throw away the key....
Only to return home to recover, break down and brawl like a baby in the comfort of only my self-pity and deepest fears...
